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Skimm for December 23rd

Skimm’d while rockin’ around the Christmas tree

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“She got schlonged” - Donald Trump keeping it classy while describing Hillary Clinton’s failed ’08 presidential run. It’s gonna be a schlong 2016.

BABY GOT IRAQ

THE STORY

Yesterday, Iraqi forces said “move, get out the way” to ISIS in a key city.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Iraqi troops - with the help of airstrikes from the US-led coalition - stormed Ramadi. That’s the key city that ISIS took this year. Key because it’s just 60 miles from Iraq’s capital. TBD on whether the Iraqis will be able to seal the Ramadi deal, but things are looking good.

ANYTHING ELSE?

ISIS isn’t the only group being asked to kindly pack its bags and go. Yesterday, British forces arrived in Afghanistan to help in the fight against the Taliban. This comes just a day after the Taliban claimed responsibility for an attack that killed six Americans.

theSKIMM

There hasn’t been much good news recently about the fight against ISIS. But if the Ramadi offensive is successful, that would be a huge defeat for the terror group.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND WANTS TO TEST OUT HIS NEW DRONE…

Not in my backyard. Yesterday, Virginia’s attorney general said the state will no longer recognize concealed handgun permits from a bunch of US states. In the past, Virginia’s had a deal with 30 other states that allows them to recognize each other’s concealed weapon laws. Meaning if you had a permit to carry your gun under your jacket in Florida, you could legally carry it under your jacket in Virginia. But after a series of shootings in the US, VA decided that 25 of those states’ laws are weaker than Virginia’s. So now Virginia will only recognize concealed handgun permits from five other states. The attorney general said this is a move to keep people safe in VA. But it’s also considered part of a larger push to tighten gun restrictions without having to go through the GOP-led state legislature. See what he did there?

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND IS ALREADY TALKING ABOUT NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS…

Rough year? Chipotle knows the feeling. The restaurant chain is being investigated by the CDC because new E. coli cases are popping up. Yes, again. This comes more than a month after dozens of people got sick from an E. coli outbreak linked to Chipotle, and weeks after dozens of other people got sick from a norovirus after eating at a Chipotle in Boston. Not all that in a bag of tortilla chips. Chipotle’s CEO recently promised the restaurant chain would become “the safest place to eat.” This time the outbreak is tied to five people who got sick after eating at Chipotles in Kansas, North Dakota, and Oklahoma. The CDC says it’s not sure if this outbreak is related to the previous E. coli outbreak. Bon appetit.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR SECRET SANTA GIVES YOU A HALF-EMPTY BOTTLE OF ALCOHOL…

Let’s just keep this exchange anonymous. Yesterday, Kentucky’s governor issued an executive order, saying county clerks are no longer required to put their names on marriage licenses. Earlier this year, Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis had her 15 minutes of fame when she refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Which didn’t go over well because of that time the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in all 50 states. Cue Davis spending five days in jail and receiving a lot of hate (and a lot of love) for what she did. The governor said keeping names off marriage licenses will protect the religious beliefs of county clerks like Davis. Because no one puts Kimmy in a corner.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU CAN’T FIND THE PANDA IN THE SNOWMEN…

That’s fine, you probably won’t see a snowman this Christmas anyway.

SKIMM READS

“The Martian” by Andy Weir

Jason Bourne in space. It’s that book-turned movie about an astronaut that gets stranded on Mars. It’s also getting serious Oscar buzz. Last-minute gift alert.

SKIMM WINE

This Malbec is out of this world. Just like the book. Vino, phone home.

SKIMM'R OF THE WEEK

Skimm’bassador Umaimah Mendhro (San Francisco, CA): She started VIDA, a fashion company whose proceeds go towards providing literary classes for factory workers in developing countries. Umaimah grew up in Pakistan and was the first in her family to go to college. She also went to Harvard Business School. What, like it’s hard?

PROGRAMMING NOTE

Happy holidays. We won’t see you in your inbox tomorrow or Christmas Day. We’ll be spending time with friends, family, and a box of peppermint bark. See you back here on Monday. Ho ho have a good one.

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SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*indicates Skimm’bassador. Make a wish.

Keira Pearl Taub (New York, NY); *Melanie Simas (Warwick, RI); Jason Bjorgo (Redmond, WA); Katrina Kurnit (Los Angeles, CA); Jessica Lichtenstein (New York, NY); *Jessica Schofield (Leesburg, VA); *Katy Berres (Seattle, WA); *Jamie Smith (Boston, MA); *Devon Feriance (Silver Lake, OH); *Jagoda Dul (River Vale, NJ); *Jackie Benzine (Madison, WI); *Anna Doherty (Durham, NC); *BK McCurdy (Seattle, WA); *Danielle Ruckert (Washington, DC); *Shauna Brandman (New York, NY); *Alyssa DiBlasi (Durham, NH); *Calli Leigh Burnett (Chicago, IL); *Marek Cornett (Oklahoma City, OK); *Taylor Bohn (Arlington); *Kylie Madden (Washington, DC); *Jennifer Dolcetti (Detroit, MI); *Kendall Utz (Colorado Springs, CO); *Kennedy Coopwood (Fort Wayne, IN); *Marti Belot (Lawrence, KS); *Tim England (Dallas, TX); *Jill Rubin (New York, NY); *Jennifer Smith (Santa Barbara, CA); *Rochelle Hajikhani (Austin, TX); *Nicole Pfeifer (Washington, DC); *Danielle Hutcher (Sherborn, MA); *Anna Schuster (Houston, TX); *Tilly Barnett (Boston, MA); *Makenna Huck (Eugene, OR); *Keri Kujala (Grand Rapids, MI); *Nell Birch (Washington, DC); *Sandra Bauman (Glen Rock, NJ); *Lindsay McKinney (Washington, DC); *Meighan Grady (Darien, CT); *Rachel Spector (Glenview, IL); *Sarah Rushton (Vancouver, Canada); *Anne French (Gloucester, MA); *Natalie Zhang (Armonk, NY); *Kinsay Zito (Denver, CO); *Kirsten Gercke (Baltimore, MD); *Jadrianna Sobczak (Chicago, IL); *Carter McKaughn (Charlotte, NC); Mark Kesslen (Tenafly, NJ); Alexandria Rumpanos (Santa Cruz, CA); Carolyn Rufo (Jamestown, RI); Crystal Wu (Philadelphia, PA); Gloria Zuflacht (East Point, FL); Cynthia Gray (Scarsdale, NY); Lou Mamalet (Paris, France); Denise Hertz (Minneapolis, MN); Leah Solomon (New York, NY); Melissa Neault (Boston, MA); Shayna Mazel (Washington, DC); Shelby Smith (Boston, MA); Tracy Hoyt (Highland Park, IL); Lauren Polansky (San Francisco, CA); Yanjin Tian (Washington DC); Sarah Howell (Atlanta, GA); Parker Sipes (Minneapolis, MN); Jessica Burtzos (New York, NY); Angie Toribio (New York, NY); Karrah St. Laurent (Brooklyn, NY); Elaine Marshall (Long Beach, CA); Bob Ravet (Bellingham, WA); Jim Dunn (Portland, OR); Susan Maxon (Palm Harbor, FL); Kate Shoemaker (Annapolis, MD); Marcia Nasca (Amherst New York); Alanna McMaster (Brampton, ON); Robin Heltzel (Pittsburgh, PA); Susan Mallaney (Chicago, IL); Thomas McCarthy (Bradenton, FL); Virginia Berg (Sioux Falls, SD); Jen Carriker (Rogers, MN); Carol Drew Killay (Guilford, VT); Amanda Huey (Cleveland, OH); Julie Hergert (Omaha, NE); Stephani Matousek (Los Angeles, CA); Wendy Tipp (Woodland Hills, CA); Dana Cogdell (Atlanta, GA); Bonnie Yarboro (Raleigh, NC); Corinne Hoffman (Columbus, OH); Darlene Gareau (Cleveland, OH); Stephanie Feldman (Boston, MA); Casey Daly (New York, NY); Danielle Donahue Paulin (San Diego, CA); Maegan Reilly (Boston, MA); Samuel Palecek (Minneapolis, MN); Carol Block (Warren, NJ)