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Skimm for December 15th

Skimm’d while watching Adele

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“This is a drug-testing designated position” — The application to become an astronaut. Yesterday, NASA started accepting astronaut job candidates for the first time in four years. Hold the space cake.

PUT A BOWE ON IT

THE STORY

Yesterday, the US Army ordered Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl to face a general court-martial. Read: the highest level of military trial. Meaning sh*t got real and Bergdahl could see life in prison.

WHO’S BOWE BERGDAHL AGAIN?

A solider who left his base in Afghanistan in 2009. He’s also starring as Adnan 2.0 in this season of “Serial.” Bergdahl walked away from his post and was captured by the Taliban. He was released last year when the US swapped him for five big-deal Taliban prisoners.

WHY THE CONTROVERSY?

Because there are conflicting opinions on why he peaced out. Bergdahl said he was unhappy with leadership at his base, and left to walk to another base to draw attention to those issues. But fellow soldiers say the decision to leave his post put their lives in danger when they went to look for him. And a lot of people weren’t so pleased that the US let go of five Taliban members to get him back. Then earlier this year, the Army charged Bergdahl with desertion and endangering troops.

WHAT’S THE LATEST?

Yesterday, a top Army commander reviewed the charges and ordered him to face a general court-martial. Big deal, especially since an earlier recommendation from an Army officer said Bergdahl shouldn’t face jail time at all.

theSKIMM

For a hot second, Bergdahl’s return was seen as a win for America. But now, he’s a national mystery who many people think is a deserter. Next time on “Serial”…

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU GET ASSIGNED THE MIDDLE SEAT ON A FLIGHT…

Not always a bad thing. Donald Trump is standing in the middle again at the fifth GOP debate tonight. In this case, the middle child’s the most popular…in the polls. Tonight’s party is hosted by CNN at 8:30PM EST in Vegas. Sen.Ted Cruz (R-TX) has been getting in the mood by dancing up the polls. Everyone else has been getting in the mood by throwing shade at Trump for his recent comments that Muslims shouldn’t be let into the US until the country figures out that whole terrorism thing. Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ) will get his talking stick back, after being moved to the JV stage last debate. This is officially the last debate of the year. Hold the applause. And unofficially the start of the GOP’s panic attack for not having a clear frontrunner who hasn’t been a reality TV host. All bets are off. Viva Las Vegas.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU PUMP YOURSELF UP IN A SELF-REVIEW…

Is this considered propaganda? Yesterday, congressional auditors said the EPA broke the law by engaging in ‘covert propaganda’ - government-speak for lobbying. Something you’re not allowed to do as a federal agency. This all started after the EPA went on a social media tear promoting President Obama’s Clean Water Rule, allegedly trying to get some public support for it and sway congressional opinion. The rule aims to keep drinking water sources like rivers - yup - clean, but some think it’s an example of the federal gov. overstepping. These auditors took a look at the EPA’s social media activity, and said ‘ain’t no river wide enough to keep you from getting #busted.’ The EPA responded that they were tweeting responsibly and just trying to educate the public.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU RETHINK BUYING YOUR BROTHER A HOVERBOARD FOR XMAS…

Need new ideas stat. Rio’s back to the drawing board too. Yesterday, one of its major power suppliers for the Olympics pulled out. Great timing, since the games are less than a year away. And Rio’s dealing with just a few other things right now. Think: polluted water where Olympians will be competing, an epic recession, and impeachment proceedings against its prez. But it wouldn’t be the first time the Olympics won a gold medal in ‘sh*t show’ (cough, Sochi, cough).

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU HAVE A BETTER TIME IN THE UBER THAN AT THE PARTY…

Sometimes Uber just delivers. Good times and babies.

THING TO KNOW

Pete Rose: Former MLB manager and player with the record for most hits. Current MLB outcast. He was banned from the League in ’89 for gambling on games while managing the Cincinnati Reds. Ever since, he’s been trying to get the League to notice him again. Yesterday, the MLB noticed him and made its feelings clear: swipe left.

SKIMM LIFE

Excited for the GOP debate tonight? Now you are. We brought Skimm Libs for you to play. The best kind of TBT (on a Tuesday). Print and fill yours out and share on social with #SkimmLife and #SkimmtheVote. Get on it.

12 DAYS OF SKIMM'NESS

On the eleventh day of Skimm’ness..��.you’re going to need a break from the holiday hustle.

Skimm HQ wants to send you on a dream vacation. We’re thinking Hawaii. We’re thinking four nights with an ocean view in a luxury hotel. You and a plus one, plus a cabana. No shoes, no problem.
Each new share counts as an entry to win, and tomorrow is the last day to enter. Share, share, share using the share button below.

Here are all the trip details and the fine print on sharing.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*indicates Skimm’bassador. Make a wish.

*Jena Zoll (New York, NY); *Hillary Levine (Los Angeles, CA); *Mandy Schnirel (Broomfield, CO); *Christina Lee (San Francisco, CA); *Pam Farmer (Bristol, RI); *Caroline Stokes (Palo Alto, CA); *Alyssa Collins (Many, LA); *Todd Shanks (Boston, MA); *Adelaide Curley (Washington, DC); *Beth Holmgren (Negaunee, MI); *Darrah Hulva (Decatur, IL); Rafael Corrales (San Francisco, CA); Alexis Apostol (New York, NY); Kristen Beck (Davis, CA); Fred Craig (New York, NY); Ya’ara Cohen (Jerusalem, Israel); Cynthia Swanson-Hinderliter (Lewistown, IL); Angela Bentley (New York, NY); Kakeru Tsubota (Kawasaki-shi, Japan); Joyce Tse (New York, NY); Jason Miller (Kokomo, IN); Anita Chaplick (Leawood, KS); Shirley Garson (Hedgesville, WV); Vickie Weinreb (East Hills, NY); Ashley Wicker (Louisville, KY); Jessie Date-Ampofo (London, England); Hillary Levine (Los Angeles, CA); Jim Doane (Rehoboth Beach, DE); Connie Gilbert (Madison, WI); Crystal Young (Los Angeles, CA); Jennifer Jahn (New York, NY); Sumeeth Jonathan (Nashville, TN); Michelle Robinson (Kingston, ON); Hollyn Keith (Fulshear, TX); Diane Ranger (Detroit, MI); Laura Ryan (Howell, MI); Kevin Archer Ward (Brooklyn, NY)