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Skimm for November 23rd

Skimm’d with Sunday Night Football.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Pretty sure everything tonight is gonna go okay, okay, okay” — Matthew McConaughey while hosting “SNL.” Over the weekend, the actor told the backstory of “alright, alright, alright.” He gets older, that line stays the same age.

INTELLIGENCE

THE STORY

The US-led fight against ISIS is not going well. And the Pentagon is expanding its investigation into why.

EXPLAIN.

Earlier this year, US military analysts accused senior military officials of changing their reports to make it seem like the fight against ISIS was going pretty well. Hint: it was not. Cue an investigation from the Pentagon’s inspector general. Then came this month’s terror attacks in Paris. ISIS has claimed responsibility. So the inspector general thought now would be a good time to expand the investigation since the Pentagon could really use a full picture of ISIS.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Since authorities warned of an “imminent” terror attack over the weekend, Brussels has been on lockdown. Yesterday, 16 people were arrested during terror raids. Meanwhile, a group with ties to al-Qaeda claimed responsibility for last Friday’s hotel attack in Mali that killed at least 20 people.

WHAT ARE PEOPLE SAYING?

In the US, there’s been a lot of talk about how to prevent terrorism at home. Last week, the House passed a bill that overhauls security screenings for Syrian and Iraqi refugees coming to the US. Meanwhile, GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz suggested the US only accept Christian refugees. And GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump didn’t rule out having Muslims register in a US database for being Muslims.

theSKIMM

The fallout from the Paris attacks isn’t over yet. And the fight against ISIS is still on. So it would be seriously troubling if senior officials are reporting inaccurate information about the fight against it.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU REMEMBER HOW MUCH OF YOUR PAYCHECK GOES TO TAXES...

Would love to find a way around this. Pfizer and Allergan feel you. Today, the two are expected to announce that they’re getting hitched in a merger valued at more than $150 billion. The marriage of the maker of Viagra (Pfizer) and Botox (Allergan) would create the world’s biggest drugmaker. It’s also expected to be very good for their tax bills. Allergan is technically going to buy Pfizer, even though Pfizer is the larger of the two companies. That’s because Allergan’s HQ is in tax-friendly Ireland. Meaning, the combined company could save itself from billions in US taxes. Sneaky, sneaky. It also comes in a record year of M&A for healthcare. Thanks to things like Obamacare and a meh global economy, companies have been feeling like it’s safer to shack up and weather the storm together. And now, they’ll be able to do both wrinkle-free.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT...

Washington Post reporter Jason Rezaian . Yesterday, Iran sentenced Rezaian to a prison term but didn’t say how long the sentence would be. Rezaian has been in an Iranian prison for more than a year. Iran also hasn’t exactly said what he was charged with, but it seems to have something to do with alleged spying for the US. Rezaian and the Washington Post have said, ‘not true. At all.’ He was convicted earlier this year after a trial that was closed to the public. Iran hasn’t given his lawyer any info on the guilty verdict, or Rezaian’s prison sentence. Helpful. This comes as the US-Iran relationship has recently been upgraded from ‘terrible’ to ‘it’s complicated.’ After agreeing on a nuclear deal earlier this year, both sides have maybe sorta kinda been considering a prisoner swap. That could mean American prisoners, like Rezaian, would be released in exchange for Iranian prisoners being held by the US. Fingers crossed.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU ALMOST HIT A BIKER GETTING OUT OF THE CAB...

Didn’t see that coming. Neither did Sen. David Vitter (R-LA), when he lost the Louisiana governor’s race this weekend to unknown State Rep. John Bel Edwards (D-LA). This was supposed to be an easy W for Vitter, since Louisiana is a very (very) red state that hasn’t elected a Dem to literally any state office in years. But this election came after a rough primary, which brought up a LOT of Vitter’s dirty laundry (think: a 2007 prostitution scandal , hiring private investigators to spy on opponents). It also comes as the current GOP gov, Bobby Jindal, is getting ready to retire with a sagging approval rating and a now-over presidential campaign under his belt. Now Vitter’s consoling himself with two pints of gumbo and a rom-com.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR MOM SAYS YOUR WEIRD UNCLE IS HOSTING THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR...

Adele is downloaded and ready to go.

THING TO KNOW

Dabbing: Carolina Panthers QB Cam Newton’s favorite touchdown dance. Highly annoying or highly entertaining, depending what side of the field you’re on.

SKIMM GIFT

Dust off your high school Spanish for four nights in your own private space surrounded by the jungle in Nicaragua. Think: yoga, surfing lessons, and a massage. Enter here.

SKIMM SHARE

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*indicates Skimm’bassador. Party on.

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