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Skimm for December 21st

Skimm’d under a blanket

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“$238 million” - How much the ‘Star Wars’ movie made over the weekend in the US and Canada. Also a new record for biggest opening weekend ever in North America. Luke, I am your sugar daddy.

DONKEY KICK

THE STORY

Dem presidential candidates went out hard Saturday night in New Hampshire at their third debate. Political shots, shots, shots, shots, shots.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Things started out nice and awkward. Before the debate, it came out that a software glitch allowed Sen. Bernie Sanders (VT) staffers to snoop on former Sec. of State Hillary Clinton’s voter data. Sanders said ‘I apologize.’ Hillz said ‘appreciate it, moving on.’

WHAT DID THEY MOVE ON TO?

Light Saturday night topics like Syria, gun control, and taxes. Surprise — Sanders and Clinton said ‘anything you can do, I can do better’ on all fronts.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Former Gov. Martin O’Malley (MD) was there too. So was Donald Trump…in spirit. Clinton said he’s becoming “ISIS’s best recruiter” after his recent comments about banning Muslims from entering the US. Everyone else basically called him the Grinch who stole the 2016 spotlight. Meanwhile, ABC came back from a commercial break before Clinton was at her podium. Oops.

theSKIMM

This was the final debate of the year, and by far the Dems’ feistiest. While some worry that the world doesn’t need another Clinton in the White House, others think the debate skills force was with her.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO CALLS SOCCER FOOTBALL…

The FIFA hits just keep on coming. Today, two of the most powerful men in soccer were told ‘no soccer for you.’ Sepp Blatter (FIFA’s longtime president) and Michel Platini (the head of European soccer) were banned from the sport for eight years. The sentence comes from the ethics committee at FIFA, the organization that governs soccer around the globe. Refresher: Earlier this year, everyone found out that executives at FIFA don’t always play by the rules. Multiple people were arrested for allegedly taking bribes in exchange for things like media and marketing rights to soccer tournaments. The ethics committee said Blatter allowed Platini to get a $2 million paycheck that he didn’t deserve. Minor details. Now both of them will have to watch the next World Cup like the rest of us…on TV.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT…

India. Yesterday, one of the six men convicted of a 2012 fatal gang rape was released from prison after a three-year sentence. To which lots of people in India said ‘WTF??’ Four of the other men convicted were given death sentences, and one killed himself in prison. But because the sixth man wasn’t 18 at the time, he got off with India’s maximum punishment for juveniles...three years. His initial sentencing caused major protests and opened up a debate over India’s treatment of women. Fast forward three years, and not much has changed. Yesterday, hundreds of people gathered to protest this decision. The victim’s mother spoke about the attacker’s release, saying “crime has won. We have lost.” Ugh.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM LOSES BY ONE POINT…

Yesterday, in what looks like Spain’s closest election in decades, the Popular Party — real name — lost its majority in Parliament. For a while, the Popular Party and the Socialist Party had been playing hot potato with power. But after a recession, high unemployment, corruption, and a separatist movement in Catalonia, Spanish people decided to say ‘hola’ to some new political ideas. But TBD on whether new ideas will mean better leadership. The hottest new party on the block is anti-austerity, just like Greece’s current party. And we all know how that turned out. Feliz Navidad.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING…

Yesterday, a landslide caused about 30 buildings to collapse in Shenzhen, China. At least 900 people were evacuated from the buildings, but nearly 100 are still missing. It looks like it was caused after a pile of waste from construction sites gave way. Shenzhen is one of China’s biggest industrial centers, and authorities said a few of the buildings that collapsed were dorms for workers.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE TEXTING YOUR MOM WHILE TALKING TO YOUR HAIRDRESSER…

Squad goals.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU SEND AN EMAIL MEANT FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND TO YOUR BOSS…

Is it too late now to say sorry?

THING TO KNOW

PITA: Stands for ‘pain in the you-know-what.” And it’s what your waiter will put next to your name in a restaurant’s database when you return the soup three times and ask ‘is this organic?’

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SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*indicates Skimm’bassador. Take out the party hats.

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