THE STORY Last night, the GOP candidates had a debate. Against the CNBC moderators. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? During Republican debate number three, the 10 candidates on stage finally found something to agree on: they don’t like the media. They also chatted about some light topics. Think: raising the debt ceiling, and how high is too high. Social Security, and whether to raise the retirement age to keep it afloat. Tax plans , and whose wins ‘Most Realistic.’ Here’s what you need to know… Gov. John Kasich (OH)…as in the one who spoke with his hands. He brought the energy last night, reminding everyone that he led the House Budget Committee back when it was actually effective (according to him). Former Gov. Mike Huckabee (AR)…as in the one who doesn’t have any weaknesses. Except for analogies. He says he’s supporting grandma and grandpa by being the only candidate who wants to expand Social Security. Former Gov. Jeb Bush (FL)…as in the one who needed a big night. And didn’t really have one. If you’re into spending cuts and your name’s not Marco Rubio, he’ll give you a “warm kiss.” After months of playing fake nice, Bush and fellow Floridian Rubio finally had it out . Sen. Marco Rubio (FL)…as in the one playing defense. He got bit by the hand that feeds him this week when a Florida paper said he should resign from the Senate because he hasn’t been showing up to the job. He thinks he shouldn’t, but thanks so much. Donald Trump…as in the one who shared the oxygen with others this time. When he did talk, he defended his companies’ bankruptcies, avoided saying ‘yuge,’ and talked about how he likes to carry a gun but also likes to be “unpredictable.” Dr. Ben Carson…as in the one who doesn’t see himself as president. But his supporter friends do. He had to do some math exercises with moderators who don’t think his tax plan adds up. Carly Fiorina…as in the one who took a trip down CEO memory lane. She thinks back on her time on top at HP a wee bit differently than the moderators. Oh, and she would reduce the tax code to three pages. Without playing with fonts. Sen. Ted Cruz (TX)… as in the one who’s down to try some “famous Colorado brownies.” Instead of answering a question about the debt ceiling, he spent his minute yelling at the moderators about liberal media bias. Cue lots of nods on stage. Gov. Chris Christie (NJ)…as in the one who doesn’t want to talk about fantasy football. He also says the government has “lied to you” and “stolen from you” when it comes to Social Security. Sen. Rand Paul (KY)…as in the one on the end. He said his weakness is that he’ll rein in government spending. Yes, his weakness. theSKIMM
There were no winners and losers last night, just a bunch of fired up candidates trying to get heard. 2016′s kick-off is less than 100 days away in Iowa. And even though Trump and Carson are in the lead, it’s still anyone’s game. THE *: You can thank Trump for cutting your drinking game by an hour. | 
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