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Skimm for February 8th

Skimm’d while trying to figure out who was ‘woo-ing’ at the Super Bowl.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Bern Your Enthusiasm” - The name of Larry David’s pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good “SNL” skit. Sen. Bernie Sanders (VT) was there too. #FeeltheCurb.

MANNING UP

THE STORY

Spoiler: the Denver Broncos won. They beat the Carolina Panthers 24-10 to take Super Bowl 50. Beyonce won the halftime show.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Lady Gaga kicked off the night while channeling Effie from “The Hunger Games.” The Broncos took the lead early. And kept the lead the entire game, thanks to their defense. But the game wasn’t exactly pretty. There were interceptions. There were fumbles. There was this no good, very bad field goal kick. But there was also this crazy punt return from Broncos wide receiver Jordan Norwood. And this crazy Panthers catch that the NFL decided wasn’t a catch. ‘A’ for effort.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Yup. There’s a lot of speculation that Broncos QB Peyton Manning will now hang up his cleats after 18 years in the game. If he does, he can now do it with a Super Bowl ring on each hand. For balance.

TELL ME ABOUT THE ADS.

Doritos had a baby. Mountain Dew had a puppy-monkey-baby and it was not OK. Super Bowl fans apparently make lots of babies every year. And the constipation ads made you regret your food baby. A bunch of celebs showed up. Amy Schumer and Seth Rogen had a big caucus. Ryan Reynolds was everywhere. And Steve Harvey cashed in on that Miss Universe mistake.

WHAT ABOUT THE HALFTIME SHOW?

Beyonce had hot sauce in her bag. Bruno Mars uptown funked up the audience and was slayed in a dance off with Queen B. Chris Martin from Maroon 5 was there, too. He wore the jeans from “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.” Did we mention Beyonce performed? Bonus: she’s going on tour. And she has a new video.

theSKIMM

Panthers QB Cam Newton — who’s also the league MVP – has been in the spotlight all season, thanks to his team’s near-perfect record. But you might’ve heard defense wins championships. And now, thanks to the Broncos D dominating this whole game, you know why.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU END UP PLAYING CHICKEN WITH A STRANGER ON THE SIDEWALK...

Well that was awkward. Welcome to Saturday night’s GOP debate, which kicked off with a few candidates missing their cue to walk on stage. It didn’t get better. At least not for Sen. Marco Rubio (FL), who’s been climbing up the polls lately. And who also who repeated the exact same two-sentence attack on President Obama...four times. Enter: Gov. Chris Christie (NJ) - who clearly had his Jersey Boy hat on - to slam Rubio for using a “memorized 25-second speech” that “his advisers gave him.” Boom, clap. Meanwhile, frontrunner Donald Trump decided to show up after saying ‘pass’ to the last debate. He was a little quieter this time around, but good news: he still refers to himself in the third person. New Hampshire heads to the polls for the first primary of 2016 tomorrow. Here’s your cheat sheet.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CO-WORKER FINISHES THE HUMMUS WITH YOUR NAME ON IT...

Rebel without a cause. Just like North Korea. Yesterday, the country launched a long-range rocket that put a satellite into space. It didn’t go over well. Possibly because the country’s under international sanctions that have a ‘don’t launch anything into space’ clause. Or because the rest of the world is pretty sure the launch is cover for a missile test, even though NK says it was for scientific purposes. Reminder: North Korea is an isolated country that doesn’t play well with others. The country has a controversial nuclear program, so sending something into space could be NK’s way of seeing how capable it is of launching a nuclear weapon. Not comforting. And this comes weeks after the country claimed it had tested a hydrogen bomb. A really, really big deal. The US thinks NK’s nose grew after that claim, but the international community still isn’t happy about it. After yesterday’s launch, the UN Security Council had an emergency meeting to consider more “significant measures” against NK. Translation: more sanctions.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU GET TO WORK EARLY BEFORE A BIG PRESENTATION...

Battlefield advantage. That’s what President Assad apparently has right now in Syria. ICYMI, the country’s been going through a five-year civil war. There’s Team President Assad (Russia & Iran) and Team moderate rebels (the US & friends). Then there’s ISIS, which everyone hates. Making things a liiiitle complicated. Also complicated: the battle for the key city of Aleppo. It’s been held by rebels for a while, but it looks like that could change. Over the weekend, Russia stepped up airstrikes supporting Assad, while government forces cut off the city’s supplies. Cue tens of thousands of civilians fleeing Aleppo for the Turkish border, where they’ve been blocked from entering the country. World leaders have started saying ‘Turkey, don’t be chicken,’ pressuring the country to open its gates to these Syrians. Turkey’s said it’ll do it — even though it’s at refugee “capacity” – but so far the gates are still closed.

THING TO KNOW

Year of the Monkey: Starts today. Aka Chinese New Year. Each year represents one of 12 animals in the Chinese zodiac. This time around, it’s ‘monkey see, monkey party’ for the next 15 days.

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