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Skimm for February 3rd

Skimm’d after hot yoga. Namaste.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I think he could have actually fitted on that bit of door” - Actress Kate Winslet finally admitting that Rose could have made room for Jack on the makeshift raft in “Titanic.” Draw me like one of your selfish girls.

CHEERIO?

THE STORY

Yesterday, the EU went all Al Green and asked the UK if they could stay together.

EXPLAIN.

The European Union is a gang of 28 countries - including the UK (aka England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland) - that’s meant to help facilitate things like international trade and negotiation. For the EU, the UK’s membership card is important because it has a bloody great economy and a lot of international swagger. But a lot of Brits think the EU has too many rules, and it’s time to cut ties. So yesterday, the EU announced a proposal that gives into some of the UK’s demands (think: restricting benefits for EU migrants and a promise to let Brits do their own thing politically).

WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

Leaders from the UK and the EU are going to couples counseling later this month. If the deal is finalized, Brits will then vote on the issue as early as this summer.

theSKIMM

A Brexit (aka British exit) from the EU could cause the Union - which has been dealing with that little thing called the migrant crisis - to also deal with an identity crisis. Plus, a breakup could cause economic uncertainty around the world. Bollocks.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU MAKE THE TRAIN JUST BEFORE THE DOOR SHUTS…

Close call. Fmr. Sec. of State Hillary Clinton is breathing a sigh of relief after just barely winning the Iowa Caucuses. To rewind: Clinton declared victory before the Democratic Party agreed. And her opponent Sen. Bernie Sanders (VT) said it was a tie. Awk. Iowa’s a big deal because it’s the first major election event of the year and can give candidates the big mo…as in momentum…they need to secure the nomination. But Hillz’s victory is bittersweet, since a tight race shows her donors that people are feeling the Bern. Not good, especially since Bernie has a lead in next week’s New Hampshire primary. The political plot thickens.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO JUST GOT INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP…

Maybe check his travel history. Yesterday, the CDC confirmed that someone in Texas got the Zika virus through sex, rather than from a mosquito bite. Zika virus: mosquito-borne virus that includes symptoms like fever, a rash, and joint pain. It’s especially dangerous for pregnant women, since it can cause dangerous birth defects. Recently, the virus has spread through Latin America and the Caribbean. And earlier this week, the World Health Organization declared the virus a global public health emergency . This case in Texas is the first time in the US that someone who has NOT recently traveled to one of those regions got the virus by having sex with someone who has recently traveled to one of those regions. The (somewhat) good news is that neither of the people involved are pregnant, so the birth defect isn’t an issue. The bad news is that this case is the first example of the virus spreading on US turf.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR BF’S GRABBING LUNCH WITH HIS EX…

Does this require backup? President Obama’s planning on sending more weapons, armored vehicles, and equipment to NATO countries to send a signal to Russia. NATO: political and military alliance of 28 countries (including the US, Turkey, and lots of Euro countries) who agree to have each other’s backs. Whose back is absent? Russia. Russia and NATO have a long history of shade-throwing over things like the Cold War and most recently, the Ukraine crisis . So sending more equipment is meant to reassure the US’s NATO allies while also sending Russia a ‘Don’t mess with ‘Murica’ memo. To get this done, the US is expected to request $3.4 billion for military spending in Europe. That’s four times the amount that’s currently being spent there. A former top US official said “the Russians are going to have a cow.” A Mos-cow.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR CO-WORKER WHO’S ALREADY UPSET ABOUT FOOTBALL SEASON ENDING…

It’ll be back next season. Peyton might not be. On Sunday, the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers face off in the Super Bowl. Rumor has it, this could be Broncos QB Peyton Manning’s last game. He’s 39, which is old for a QB. He reportedly told friends that he’s retiring after he tries to take home another Super Bowl ring. Meanwhile, Cleveland Browns QB Johnny Manziel might need to get a new job. But not by choice. The Browns are reportedly cutting ties with the Heisman trophy winner. Maybe because he really likes to party. Or because his then-girlfriend said he hit her. Or because he just hasn’t been playing like he did in his college glory days. So now, it looks like he might get Browns-balled.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR SISTER SAYS “YOU WON’T”…

Watch me. That’s what North Korea said yesterday when it told the UN that it’s planning on launching a satellite. NK says ‘this is called expanding our space program.’ The international community says ‘this is actually a cover to expand your missile program.’ Reminder: NK does NOT play well with others, which is why the UN forbids the country from using ballistic missile technology (think: things like warheads). That hasn’t stopped NK from getting feisty in the past. The country’s been trying to bulk up its small-scale nuclear program for a while, and last month, it said it tested an H-bomb. Which would be a BF nuclear D. While the US and friends said ‘liar, liar, Kim Jong-un’s hair on fire,’ it was still a wakeup call that NK has no intention of obeying sanctions. If this launch is the real deal, it will likely force the UN to impose stronger restrictions on the country. Lil’ Kim, big timeout.

THING TO KNOW

Alligator arms: Not a French delicacy. It’s football speak for not committing to receiving a pass. When a receiver’s arms aren’t extended all the way, it’s usually because he senses a defender creeping.

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